the warmth of a cold november night.

and again.

going thru older photographs.
london. café rouge sessions.

monday night.

and it's cold and chilly tonight.

i came home from work a bit late, again,

threw on my most comfy " i never want to part with you" sweats,

went thru my ritual of lighting the candles,

and decided tonight wanted a fire being lit as well.

i want warmth tonight.

and blankets wrapped around me.

the day left me feeling good, content.

maybe a bit tired,

but feeling good. and wanting warmth.

it was yet another good day. of work.

of a walk thru the autumn woods at lunch

just to step away and step outside.

and it was a day of people that put smiles on my face,

with just the simplicity of a phone call,

and of a voice i always love to hear.

herr sievert. the charming and schöne herr sievert.

and isabelle called as well,

saying she found the sweater that we saw on saturday.

and i wanted the sweater, i really did,

but i reckoned it needed to be just a size bigger,

which the store didn't have of course,

and with isabelle trying to convince me otherwise.

but i reckoned i'd try to get myself to karlsruhe this week,

to see if maybe they had it there.

so when she told me that found it, i let out a little shriek of giddiness

until she told me,

no, she bought me the same size because it suited me just fine.

silly girl.

but god i love her.

she already spoilt me on saturday

giving me a christian audigier shirt.

she said saw it and knew it had to be mine.

it was the crown and the angel wings,

and a god save the queen.

yes, i said it already. and i'll say it again.

silly girl. silly girl.

smiles...

and wanting more warmth,

it's november nights like this, that call for a soup.

homemade. fresh. lovely soup.

i still had some hokkaido from the weekend

and a few shrimps as well.

i wasn't sure if it was going to taste together,

but it did.

pumpkin soup. with shrimps.

i don't know what it is about soup.

the symbolism of it.

it is a food of the heart. and the hearth.

there's something motherly about it. something nuturing.

and yes, it's these autumn come winter days

that i can come home

and make myself a soup.

and while letting things simmer on the stove,

i was keeping my eye on my auction,

and my deer antlers that i oh so want.

but it didn't work out.

i set my limit. and admitted defeat.

and even though it was the most perfect crown,

and reflected the most perfect pride and majestic glory,

i was something i couldn't do at that high a price.

and i suppose,

that's just the way it is in life as well with so many things.

no matter how much you want, no matter how much you yearn,

there's the moment when you graciously take a bow,

and step away.

and sometimes,

i think that takes more strength than it does weakness.

so again,

i'm comforting myself,

saying this wasn't the one.

and with a bit of patience, and with a little bit of time,

i know it will be.

i'll have my deer antlers yet.

what was the weekend about?

saturday was about heading down to the salon in the morning,

dropping off bits and pieces of the mink & pearls collection,

and the goldzauber shirt collection as well.

at least i think that's what i'm going to call it.

i haven't yet decided.

the shirts are about women and their glory,

and all these playful and wonderful things we are.

it's about feminity and the voluptious of curves.

it's about love. the love we give

but also the love for ourselves

(need we never forget. need we never forget.)

it's about loving life and being bold.

and the statements of the shirts

are written in gold.

in german. in english. and in french.

i introduced a few in the last catalogue with work,

but a part of this line still needs to be separate

with an identity of it's own

and that part of omondieu!

so after i finished off there and strolled thru the saturday market,

i picked up isabelle and timmy

and off to freiburg we were.

just walked around,

spending a lovely day.

and meeting up with maureen in her shop

for a coffee

and to pick up the janete zamboni pieces

that i've long been waiting for.

and after grabbing more coffee and a quick bite to eat

in one of my favourite cafés in freiburg.

the aran cafe.

we decided to head home a bit later in the afternoon

stopping off to get our groceries

and then deciding we just might as well do dinner together too.

i love cooking with friends.

you learn. you teach. enjoy a glass of wine.

it's the talks while you cook.

or even conversations when you don't even need to say a word,

and it's the laughs or even the little mishaps that become more laughs.

so we just did ourselves a bit of thai.

chicken and carrots and sweet peas with curry and ginger and rice.

and again. i didn't get home until late.

sunday was a day i just wanted and needed to spend with myself.

things have been so busy lately. a constant come and go.

with work. with life.

and i just needed home day. and i just needed quiet day.

to sort thru thoughts. of the mind. and of the heart.

there's someone i really miss these days.

and that i can't help

but think of him every now again and so often.

and if i only knew,

that he's thinking of me too.

maybe just every once in a while.

i spent a bit of the morning in the garden

with a cup of coffee.

kind of taking a close look at the things i had planted,

the things i sowed, the things that bloomed and blossomed.

and wondering what it'll bring with spring.

and then i spent a part of the morning

cleaning house. and purging.

going thru this and that.

i need that too every now and then.

kind of like a feng shui of the soul.

and i drank tea. and sorted thru compliations of magazines.

i listened to old cds. norah and natalie and diana too.

and put an afternoon fire

while finally curling up with a book to read.

and late afternoon,

my lenny bo benny came by for a visit.

he had me a bit worried as i had a call last week

saying he wasn't doing too well.

he wasn't eating. he wasn't walking.

on friday they told me he was a bit better

but on medication.

and i did want to see him, but we reckoned it might be better to wait

and see how things go.

and i wanted to head down to visit on sunday evening,

but then they called saying they were on their way.

and as soon as the pup realised where he was,

there was no stopping him.

he was back to his old self.

he wasn't limping, he didn't seem to feel any pain.

he was full of cuddles and couldn't wait to go for a walk.

and they were in a state of disbelief,

saying he hadn't been like that for over a week.

god. i miss my pup. i really miss my pup.

i might be driving to munich this coming weekend,

but i'm really thinking of staying here

and having pup with me instead.

i think it would do the both of us good.

and i don't think there'll be a weekend i can spend with him otherwise

before i fly home for the holidays.

anyhow,

it's already late

and i just started the bath water running.

a midnight bath.

i just want to slip inside

and feel a bit more warmth,

feel the water. and the quiet.

and the softness of light.

and then i want to take that with me into the night.

the warmth of a cold november night.

i hope this warmth finds you too...