i came here tonight to write. to catch up. to say hello.
and i don't know, but i just wasn't finding the words.
and then i started to read the words. tamara's words.
went by to visit the girl. was missing her
and thinking that it was just a week ago
that her and konrad were here.
the first time that we'd actually met,
but without really knowing how to say it,
the most familiar face and friend.
it's as though tamara has always been
right here along side me. a part of me.
a companion thru the heart of it all.
she was already at my place when i got home from work
and walking thru my own doors
right up to her to hug and say hello
was as though that moment had been a thousand times
and never ever before.
but reading her blog and words tonight,
it all just came back. as though it were here. now.
and there was a smile on the face,
as there was a tear in the eye.
okay tam, still can't get over all the apartment piccies.
my god, the place is honestly still empty!
in a literal sense.
and that's not about not being content
but literally (time for justification)
of starting all over again. with the bits. the pieces.
boxes are still spilled all over the place
waiting to find a place to crawl themselves into. under.
no lamps hanging from the ceiling yet. nor pictures on the wall.
but they'll come. with time.
and i think the most important thing that fills a home
are the memories. like those that we created. together.
it's the friends (and the lovers) that share the walls
fill the space and breath the air.
and having you here. the both of you.
it inspired. and it changed things.
and brought so much back to life for me again.
so much that had frozen itself over the past months.
and i can't thank you enough for that sweetie.
i honestly can't.
so maybe the only real words i'm able to find tonight
are those saying to you
how special and wonderful you are.
how much i adore you
and how grateful that i am,
that there's you in my life.
heart. soul. friend.
i love you tam. and i thank you!
and photos by the one, the only...