Saturday, November 29, 2008

promises... that we speak. that we keep.

promse me you'll never forget me,
because if i thought you would...
i'd never leave.
- a.a. milne -
(and maybe just for the love of winnie the pooh... )

those are words that floated around me today.

simply floated. and made me smile.

and it was as though i was whispering these words to someone,

knowing that although he might not hear.

there's this constant glow of hope

that he just might feel those words. those thoughts.

and even if he doesn't know why,

that he just might catch himself smiling,

feeling something floating around him too.


got up rather tired this morning.

after a late night with the girls on friday night.

spent the day at the office,

trying to take steps forward with the catalogue.

it's close to insanity that i'm taking holidays so close before deadline

but it's something that needs to be done,

and i really need this holiday.

and just time spent with mom. with dad.

and just time spent back home.

but we had a good day and although somedays,

the work can't be measured or seen,

we managed to move forward.

small steps at times are big steps.

i didn't leave the office until maybe around six

drove off to pick up my rocking chair.

yes, i got myself a rocking chair.

something i've wanted for the bedroom for a while now.

a nice. white. old. rocking chair.

and the plan was that i was going to get back in time

to quickly sneak into ikea.

needing to stock up on my candles

and all those other little things,

as well as the shelves for behind the bed.

i swear, am i the only one that can go into ikea

and pick up candles for over fifty euro?

something i do every couple of months.

me. and my candles.

i have a whole cupboard just for me and my candles.

anyhow, i didn't make it in time.

needless to say.

i thought they were open until ten o'clock

but that wasn't the case.

so onward. homeward.

with a quick stop at the grocery store

that thankfully, was still open.

it's rare here in germany that a store is open that late.

and i can't tell you how glad i am,

that it's also a store, right across the street from me.

convience. convience. absolute convience.

so we'll have to save ikea for another night,

hopefully later this week.

if somehow time will allow.

so after getting home,

and getting my flowers finally put in vases,

and throwing in a bit of laundry

(these days, i feel like i've done everything and anything

other than win the housekeeper of the year award.

oh god. i swear one day i want a cleaning lady!)

i just wanted to pour myself a glass of wine

and pour water into the bath

and slip myself away.

but elisabeth called and we spent over an hour on the phone.

ahem. girls.

when they talk.

and trust me, there's always much to say.

i don't think the men really get it. these conversations we women can have.

elisabeth is away doing a market this weekend

and i maybe should have driven down to see her tonight

as i was almost already in that neck of the woods.

but considering i need to be up early in the morning,

i just reckoned it would be better to drive home.

and she was in her hotel room, drinking a glass of wine.

so that probably explains,

how and what our conversation was like.

oh the silliness. the sweet sweet silliness.

other sweet things of the past few days?

thursday night was ludwigsburg.

went to charlotte roche's last reading

of her ever so disputable and for many,

shocking book.


which i believe is just being translated into english.


for those with a vivid imagination.

yes. disputable. but i like to think,

taken with a touch of vulgar humour.

i won't say anything more.

anyhow. i wanted to go to the reading in karlsruhe back in april,

but that was sold out right away.

one of my girls at the office said she got tickets for ludwigsburg

so we decided to go together.

and it was all worth the while.

and other good news was all the little omondieu! stirrings.

a wonderful email from ruth in munich

and a wonderful phone call from regine.

one of her customer's bought a hüftgold shirt,

and as the saying goes,

she told a friend who told a friend who told a friend...

and now there's another store asking for the shirts,

with a whole order for the hüftgold

and asking which other shirts there are to be had

alongside the secret garden rings.

i can put a nice order together right away.

i can't believe what it is about this shirt.


but i think that it's wonderful,

that so many women are having fun with that word,

and with that statement.

and yes, it makes me giggle. it makes me smile.

i just have to find and make the time

to put the rest of it together again.

but these next days

and these next weeks,

time is going to be a rarity.

but such is life. c'est la vie.

and we'll figure it out somehow.

isn't that the magic of things,

how everything always does

simply fall into place?

(also one of those things

that long telephone conversations were all about...

because damn there's been some magic happening these days.)

but for now,

i think i just have to get myself off to bed.

up early in the morning

first for breakfast with isabelle

then off to the salon for a photo session with her girls

and then a photo session for a project

with a few of her clients as well.

and it's been a while since i've done assignments like that

but i'm excited about it. hoping i can capture it,

capture and ignite the beauty in each and every one.

and then depending on how time will go,

i'll see if i can make it out to patti's.

coffee with patti. i miss my coffees with patti.

and sunday evening is dinner with gwen.

her birthday dinner. and just the two of us.

i know she won't read this until maybe later,

so i can say it now.

but all that this wonderful girl is getting,

is a good bottle of wine,

some sundried tomatoes,

and an array of lemon pepper, truffel and barolo tagliatelle

that i picked up at the market.

i've added a sprig of rosemary and oregano from the garden.

and packed it in a picnic box.

and that's just what this gift is supposed to say,

the promise of a spring weekend in italy.

just a short trip. a small trip.

lago di como this time. or maybe lago maggiore again.

gwen and i like to do that. just every now and then.

and of course,

come spring, i'll need another white oleander. and an olive tree.

and those are the things,

that i like to always bring back with me.

it's the little stories that can be told.

and as we know,

everything has its story. everything has its reason.

and it's also these stories, these reasons,

that gwen too, always understands.

and in her stride, takes as a part of me.

happy birthday my dear girl.

and thank you for always being there.

for being a part of me.

but for now,

this little girl has got to find her way to bed.

i think that today,

it was simply about that. it was simply about promises.

those that we speak. and those that we keep.

and those that live in hope...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

love life. passionately...

love life. passionately. out loud. and in colour.
dare. to be bold. cause magic. share s ecrets.

la di da di da.

i've done it. i've really really done.

and yes. just a wee bit proud of myself too.

omondieu! is now officially back. and on. line.

there's still a lot of work to be done.

of words written. and photographs taken.

but this is what it's about

starting. again.

and doing it. simply doing it.

i'm still trying to figure out a technicality or two.

not really my greatest forte.

me. and technical things.

i honestly think,

i must have skipped school on that particular day.


but i did it. i really really did it.

and all on my sweet sweet own.

but also with friends

that have pushed me along the way.

and walked with me along the way.

blowing you a kiss.

love. hugs. ange.


Monday, November 24, 2008

tracing hearts... with fingertips.

waking up on a sunday morning
to snow falling outside the window
while the hearth is still warm
from the fire of the night before.
and going for a walk
on a freshly fallen white blanket.
tracing hearts... with fingertips.

that was yesterday. the sweet of sunday yesterday.

and i guess that's what the storm and the north wind

of the night before was whispering.

snow. she was whispering and promising snow.

i had pup with me on the weekend. my lenny. bo benny.

apparently he was doing a bit better thru the week,

but still not back to his usual playful self.

still not wanting to go for his walks,

and still not wanting to eat.

and on friday when they called me,

they said he hadn't left the car all day.

just laid there. inside.

so i drove out right away after work,

and as soon as i pulled up in the driveway

and walked to the gate,

pup jumped out of the car and came running straight for me.

i stepped in to talk with them, and lenny kept walking to the door,

almost as though to say,

"come on. let's go. let's go now. what is it you're waiting for..."

and then we drove home.

i love that feeling of coming home with him.

or the feeling of coming home to him.

the cuddles. the greetings. lenny hugs as i always call them.

and i know this knows sounds harsh,

but after klaus passed away,

there was a time that i was so angry,

i was angry that he left. that he left us behind.

and not just me. but lenny too.

and maybe angry is the wrong word, too hard and bitter a word.

i think maybe it was more the hurt.

and more the loss.

because i felt like i was losing both.

and without being given a choice.

and the last thing i wanted to do

was to have to give lenny away.

but i loved the pup too much to be a selfish soul.

it wasn't going to be fair to him,

with the hours the work, and i'm the time i'm away.

and to leave him on his own.

that's not why you bring something into your life,

or take something on into your life.

and i honestly think i prayed each and every night,

trying to imagine and envision the perfect solution.

that if i had to give him away, it wouldn't have to be to strangers,

rather a place that i knew he would be good to them

and just as they would be good to him.

and a place that i knew

i could see him when i needed him.

or he needed me.

just to go for a walk. just to go for a talk.

and when it seemed as though there was hardly an answer in sight,

it was achim that called.

and i'll never forget when he said,

"i've got it, ange. i've got the answer.

let me figure this out and i'll get back to you.

i think i've got the answer..."

and he kept his word.

just as he always does.

just as achim always does.

and ironically,

klaus was the name of lenny's new home as well.

and that's the way it's been this past year and some.

i get to see my beau, my pup

just every now and then.

i think i always had the fear,

that he'd forget with time

or that it just wouldn't be the same.

but my heart still always melts

when i realise how wrong i was.

because whenever they bring him to me

or i go to pick him up

and it's almost as though he says

"what took you so long this time... i've been waiting..."

and he's all mine. he's all mine again.

we had a wonderful and quiet weekend.

i got my work done.

and there were lenny cuddles galore.

there were walks along the running creek

although we had to go easy. although we had to go slow.

and sunday was waking up

with snow falling outside.

and as soon as he caught me stirring,

he was nudging and poking

ready to head out.

to discover the world. to play to with the world.

i grabbed my cup of coffee

threw on my coat, a scarf, a pair of gloves. and my hat.

there's always something about a woman, when she gets to wear a hat.

and off we went. into the first and gentle snow.

the rest of the day had me finally doing

what has been long meant to be in the doing.

and with pup at my feet

having a lazy sunday snooze,

a fire burning and a cup of tea

i finally started working on my website.

and to be honest,

i hadn't a clue what i was doing.

susan has long been offering her help,

and just like lenny,

doing her nudge. and doing her poke.

but for whatever reason,

there were these obstacles. inner and outer obstacles.

something that's been holding back. holding me down.

too long a story to get into right now.

but suddenly,

instead of looking at what i no longer had,

what i had lost along the way.

i just finally decided to start again. to do this again.

and how silly have i been.

because even with all the support and love that's been endlessly given,

and i was just too stubborn to see. or even to receive.

and be it susan. or be it christoph.

(because you brought it all back into my hands.

thank you for that. thank you.)

and even thru some of the ugly legal shite that came with the game.

i think maybe i just needed my time.

klaus used to always take care of all the technical things.

we worked well as a designing team. we simply worked well.

i would blueprint. and he'd put what i saw into motion.

but everytime there was a technical issue,

it was just too easy to call his name.

and often since, i've actually found myself,

challenged myself.

and figuring out a thing or two.

how do i install this. or how do i install that.

or what was the fecking password you used?

it's almost eerie, thinking back.

but i'll never forget one of the last times he was here,

he set something up with the phone and the internet,

and wrote something down and said,

"just in case anything happens. keep this. you'll need this."

and it's the last piece of paper i have,

written with his hand.

i smiled at him that night and said,

"my dear. if anything ever happens. that's when i call you."

sometimes i wonder if he already knew...

and you know what.

i often do. i often call him. and ask for help.

and there's been these amazing wonders

of the way he does.

klaus was seventeen years of my life.

and we might not have made it as lovers or as partners in crime.

but with time and at the end of the day,

we made it as friends. the truest and most honest of friends.

but anyhow, fact is,

the one thing that i never imagined i'd do

is put a website together.

and that i could do it on my own.

and i don't want to pat myself on my shoulder,

but i'm going to say it. and i'm going to say it out loud.

damn i'm proud of myself.

of me, myself and i.

and maybe that drop dead beautiful man he was

is sitting up there,

smiling and smirking away. the way he always did...

and maybe just a wee little bit proud of me too.

you know, i still see that smile. that smirk.

every now and then.

it still all needs a day or two

until i get it online.

and by far it's no masterpiece.

rather simply me, starting back from zero,

and starting back from scratch.

there are still photos that need to be taken.

and words that need to be written.

and learning (always learning) what to do.

but it's a work in progress.

and it'll grow from here.

and i'll say it again. i'll simply say it again.

femme heureuse.

never underestimate the power of what of you hold inside.

and always be patient with yourself.

always be kind with yourself.

femme heureuse.

oh. there's so much more i wanted to talk about.

politics that are on my mind

and politics that make me want to speak my mind.

and i still have yet to tell the paris stories

the stories that i call "this lost and found".

of the eiffel tower. of paris. of a lion. and a ring.

a wedding ring.

but we'll just have to save that all

for another day.

because right now,

maybe it's just all about tracing hearts

with fingertips...

in november snow.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

this language of the heart...

rain. on these streets. and thru these windows.
of a café. in paris.

brian andreas once said,

"I carry you with me into the world,

into the smell of rain and the words that dance between people.

And for me, it will always be this way,

walking in the light,

remembering being alive together."

and i find those to be beautiful words.


there's a storm tossing and turning outside right now.

and she feels a bit restless

in her glorious way.

and i'm going to listen to her,

thru these windows and with the still of night

as i lay myself down.

trying to hear what it is she wants to say.

just like this heart.

just like this heart.


what is it that your heart wanted to say today?

what is it that made your heart smile.

ever so quietly smile...?

Monday, November 17, 2008

the warmth of a cold november night.

and again.
going thru older photographs.
london. café rouge sessions.
monday night.
and it's cold and chilly tonight.
i came home from work a bit late, again,
threw on my most comfy " i never want to part with you" sweats,
went thru my ritual of lighting the candles,
and decided tonight wanted a fire being lit as well.
i want warmth tonight.
and blankets wrapped around me.
the day left me feeling good, content.
maybe a bit tired,
but feeling good. and wanting warmth.

it was yet another good day. of work.
of a walk thru the autumn woods at lunch
just to step away and step outside.

and it was a day of people that put smiles on my face,
with just the simplicity of a phone call,
and of a voice i always love to hear.
herr sievert. the charming and schöne herr sievert.
and isabelle called as well,
saying she found the sweater that we saw on saturday.
and i wanted the sweater, i really did,
but i reckoned it needed to be just a size bigger,
which the store didn't have of course,
and with isabelle trying to convince me otherwise.

but i reckoned i'd try to get myself to karlsruhe this week,
to see if maybe they had it there.
so when she told me that found it, i let out a little shriek of giddiness
until she told me,
no, she bought me the same size because it suited me just fine.

silly girl.
but god i love her.

she already spoilt me on saturday
giving me a christian audigier shirt.
she said saw it and knew it had to be mine.
it was the crown and the angel wings,
and a god save the queen.
yes, i said it already. and i'll say it again.
silly girl. silly girl.

and wanting more warmth,
it's november nights like this, that call for a soup.
homemade. fresh. lovely soup.

i still had some hokkaido from the weekend
and a few shrimps as well.
i wasn't sure if it was going to taste together,
but it did.
pumpkin soup. with shrimps.

i don't know what it is about soup.
the symbolism of it.
it is a food of the heart. and the hearth.
there's something motherly about it. something nuturing.
and yes, it's these autumn come winter days
that i can come home
and make myself a soup.

and while letting things simmer on the stove,
i was keeping my eye on my auction,
and my deer antlers that i oh so want.
but it didn't work out.
i set my limit. and admitted defeat.
and even though it was the most perfect crown,
and reflected the most perfect pride and majestic glory,
i was something i couldn't do at that high a price.

and i suppose,
that's just the way it is in life as well with so many things.
no matter how much you want, no matter how much you yearn,
there's the moment when you graciously take a bow,
and step away.
and sometimes,
i think that takes more strength than it does weakness.

so again,
i'm comforting myself,
saying this wasn't the one.
and with a bit of patience, and with a little bit of time,
i know it will be.
i'll have my deer antlers yet.

what was the weekend about?

saturday was about heading down to the salon in the morning,
dropping off bits and pieces of the mink & pearls collection,
and the goldzauber shirt collection as well.
at least i think that's what i'm going to call it.
i haven't yet decided.
the shirts are about women and their glory,
and all these playful and wonderful things we are.
it's about feminity and the voluptious of curves.
it's about love. the love we give
but also the love for ourselves
(need we never forget. need we never forget.)
it's about loving life and being bold.
and the statements of the shirts
are written in gold.
in german. in english. and in french.

i introduced a few in the last catalogue with work,
but a part of this line still needs to be separate
with an identity of it's own
and that part of omondieu!

so after i finished off there and strolled thru the saturday market,
i picked up isabelle and timmy
and off to freiburg we were.
just walked around,
spending a lovely day.
and meeting up with maureen in her shop
for a coffee
and to pick up the janete zamboni pieces
that i've long been waiting for.

and after grabbing more coffee and a quick bite to eat
in one of my favourite cafés in freiburg.
we decided to head home a bit later in the afternoon
stopping off to get our groceries
and then deciding we just might as well do dinner together too.

i love cooking with friends.
you learn. you teach. enjoy a glass of wine.
it's the talks while you cook.
or even conversations when you don't even need to say a word,
and it's the laughs or even the little mishaps that become more laughs.
so we just did ourselves a bit of thai.
chicken and carrots and sweet peas with curry and ginger and rice.
and again. i didn't get home until late.

sunday was a day i just wanted and needed to spend with myself.
things have been so busy lately. a constant come and go.
with work. with life.
and i just needed home day. and i just needed quiet day.
to sort thru thoughts. of the mind. and of the heart.
there's someone i really miss these days.
and that i can't help
but think of him every now again and so often.
and if i only knew,
that he's thinking of me too.
maybe just every once in a while.

i spent a bit of the morning in the garden
with a cup of coffee.
kind of taking a close look at the things i had planted,
the things i sowed, the things that bloomed and blossomed.
and wondering what it'll bring with spring.
and then i spent a part of the morning
cleaning house. and purging.
going thru this and that.
i need that too every now and then.
kind of like a feng shui of the soul.
and i drank tea. and sorted thru compliations of magazines.
i listened to old cds. norah and natalie and diana too.
and put an afternoon fire
while finally curling up with a book to read.

and late afternoon,
my lenny bo benny came by for a visit.
he had me a bit worried as i had a call last week
saying he wasn't doing too well.
he wasn't eating. he wasn't walking.
on friday they told me he was a bit better
but on medication.
and i did want to see him, but we reckoned it might be better to wait
and see how things go.
and i wanted to head down to visit on sunday evening,
but then they called saying they were on their way.

and as soon as the pup realised where he was,
there was no stopping him.
he was back to his old self.
he wasn't limping, he didn't seem to feel any pain.
he was full of cuddles and couldn't wait to go for a walk.
and they were in a state of disbelief,
saying he hadn't been like that for over a week.

god. i miss my pup. i really miss my pup.

i might be driving to munich this coming weekend,
but i'm really thinking of staying here
and having pup with me instead.
i think it would do the both of us good.
and i don't think there'll be a weekend i can spend with him otherwise
before i fly home for the holidays.

it's already late
and i just started the bath water running.
a midnight bath.

i just want to slip inside
and feel a bit more warmth,
feel the water. and the quiet.
and the softness of light.

and then i want to take that with me into the night.
the warmth of a cold november night.

i hope this warmth finds you too...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Public Passages.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Proverbs 7:17-18
i had read these words once,
written them down.
and i just felt the need to read them again,
and write them down again.
maybe it's a just a little reminder.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

of life and her magical ways...

a return to innocence...
"Meeting you was fate,
becoming your friend was a choice,
but falling in love with you
I had no control over..."
- Mary Oliver -
thursday night
and there's a beautiful full moon.
went for a walk when i got home,
a late night walk.
just to gaze, just to take a deep breath,
of the chilly november air.
and just to talk
to her. this moon.
la lune.

and we had another good day at work.
and there are days, it simply amazes me
to see the way we're growing,
the impact we're gaining,
the position we're taking.
simply the way things are unfolding.

and we still have such a long way to go,
to where we want to be,
but that's all a part of the journey.
and there are so many visions right now,
each day bringing new ideas, possibilites,
and that itself is so inspiring.
and some of it we can steer ourselves,
but so much of it evolves on its own.

i had a good conversation about that with my boss today.
he had a brilliant idea and then we just spun it a bit from there.
and even with this too,
i already look back in retrospect and realise
that this chance, this challenge,
this too was all a part of the masterplan.
little wishes and dreams i had long ago.
so strange how life,
with all her detours and traffic jams
still brings you there. keeps you on that map.

and although i'm so far behind on projects, on schedules
and i don't know when or how i'm to do it all,
but there's a calm inside of me
and i just know it's all going to be fine. just perfectly fine.

and i'm so happy with my team.
they have to put up with a lot working with me,
but damn they do a good job of it.
i don't think i'm really your conventional boss.
yes, i usually do a lot of things unconventionally.
and needless say,
as much as i can play with the figures and statistics,
i run my business and my company on emotion
and with instinct.
the emotion and instinct that comes from deep within.

and i like to think
that is what will make the difference at the end of the day.

but on days like today,
i like the way we can smile and laugh together,
the way we reach our goals together.

i start off every morning
after i get my cup of coffee
and ask them what they want with the day...
it's almost like it's a game we play.
but i just want them to manifest their goals,
to speak it out, and say it out loud,
as though we carve it into a stone.

i see us as a little family too.
and that's something else we did today.
we officially created a family.
and one day, i want this to be a big family.
with the good that we can do and we can share.

i've always believed that to receive, you have to learn to give first.
and so many times, we kind of forget to be thankful and grateful
for all the things around us.
and although the company is still growing
and we too are just in our children steps,
i want to make whatever difference we can.
personally. and professionally.

so we've been looking into adopting and sponsoring a child
that we hope will grow with us.
even if it's just a small symbolic way.
and with each year, i want this family to grow.
it's one of the other goals i've made.

it was also important to me,
that we find an organisation that is sincere,
and that the money, the sponsorship
goes right to the core and right to the reason.

so we've researched and looked at this and looked at that
initially i was hoping to adopt and sponsor a child in asia.
maybe cambodia or vietnam.
but today we picked el salvador. a little girl in el salvador.
and i just hope we can make a difference
and bring her some good
and watch her grow.

other little stories of the day...

tristan and isolde arrived in the mail.
and when i read the prelude of the book,
i found myself smiling. again.
because just as that thought of this gift had come into my mind
a few weeks ago,
the words i found written there were like a little confirmation
that yes, this was just the book and the story that was mean to be.
that yes, franziska will understand and she'll create
what i can envision, but what i need someone else's voice to speak...
and i know she can.

and i won't say a word. i'll just simply give a gift.

and these words of the prelude, they speak of gold and amethyst rings.
of love and desire.
about gold. about magical stones.
because this gift is meant to be
a subtle inspiration,
and a quiet muse
of a wonderful new jewellery collection.
saying all the things with its beauty
that i don't think i can say myself.

"Wem niemals Leid von Liebe kam,
dem kam auch nie von Liebe Lust.
Wie Tristan und Isolde nahm
ich Lust und Leid an meine Brust.
Leid ist ein amethystner Stein,
die Lust is Gold und fasst ihn ein.
In dieses edlen Ringes Glanz
erst ründet sich die Liebe ganz.
Nehmt, Liebende, vom edlen Stein,
nehmt viel vom roten Golde!
Ihr alle müsst selig elend sein
wie Tristan und Isolde."

it's just my subtle and quiet way.

anyhow. i think this girl has to find her way bed.
tomorrow promises to be another busy day.
and saturday it's off to freiburg,
to pick up my pieces from janete zamboni
at maureen's.
and that's yet another sweet paris story
of coincidence
and what a small world it is after all.

so strange,
how everything these days
seems to pivot and spiral itself
around bijoux. and paris.
like a playful nudge, a tender poke,
something taking you by the hand
leading. guiding.

yes. at times i do wonder
what it is the gods are saying.
what it really is
written between these lines.

of life and her magical ways...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

la lune. la lune...

peggy's cove.
as her waves lull you. invite you.
almost as though they say...
whisper a dream. whisper a dream.

tuesday night and reflecting back on the past days.

a constant come and go.

of a whirling dance and a whirling wind.

can please explain to me, how it is

that we're here and now already in november?

sometimes i feel like it should still be september

as i ask myself where days go by.

the weekend itself was a sweet busy.

it was about friends. again.

it was about the girls.

friday night and full house here.

saturday morning up early for a business meeting.

it means big changes and big challenges

for all those involved.

and again, it's one of those situations and oppurtunities

that makes me reflect and retrack the steps

that lead it all to this.

yes. again. it makes me believe that everything

happens for a reason and a cause.

like a little destiny. a map that's been laid out.

but you simply only see that path you've walked,

understand it's little stops and detours,

after you throw a glance back over your shoulder

in retrospect.

there's almost an irony in it all.

my boss and i haven't really spoken about it out loud,

but i think on saturday we both had a moment

that we simply both quietly thought...

who would have imagined two years ago,

when this mission and this vision started,

we'd find ourselves right here and now.

one of those thoughts of never in a life time,

one of those thoughts that would have never crossed your mind.

we both did agree however,

that if this does all fall into place,

it's like a little revolution

and a door opening, into a whole new world.

and yes. although it is a habit of mine to talk in riddles,

and between the lines.

this is something that has to remain just that.

but in my own little way,

i like to think that this also has a bit to do with klaus.

an unknowing gift that he left behind.

and in a way, somehow i like to think it's him sitting up there,

looking down,

being his mischievious self. smirking and smiling.

and just taking care of things.

and sometimes i wonder what else he's got up his sleeve.

so i got home on saturday and took care of a few things around the house,

and then got myself back into the car to elisabeth.

and setting priorities straight,

it was in the door and into pyjamas.

girls night. elisabeth. kyra. and me.

dinner was on the living room floor,

sprawled out between us and in between a bottle of two of wine,

i was cutting out patterns for elisabeth,

and she was diligently sewing.

and i think kyra was simply thinking of all the strange and silly things

that mom and i were talking about.

but she's used to those talks and conversations by now.

smiles. yes. it's about being all girl. being all woman.

god. we have wild and wonderful conversations.

then welcome sunday

and having breakfast and quickly laying out and designing

elisabeth's new business cards and postcards.

and as usual, i was running late

as petra was on her way over at eleven.


i literally stayed in my pyjamas, threw on the trench coat

and thought to hell with it.

raced home just to get a text message from petra that she slept in too.

i was running late. she was running late.

the perfect partners in crime we are.

and then the two of us just had a wonderfully sweet sunday.

coffees on the kitchen table

and then heading into town to grab a bit to eat

and more coffee again.

sitting at garibaldi's and then off to the trinkhalle

until we were back home again

and it was sunday night.

monday came and went.

a busy day. a good day. an unexpected day.

late home at night day.

today was a bit the same.

a constant go at the office

but a good energy of go at the office.

left a bit early to bring the car to the garage.

yup. the mini started doing a few strange things on me.

as in, she didn't want to take the curve

when i wanted to take the curve.

it was as though we were playing a game of tug of war.

and damn the both of us were stubborn.

i pulled her off to the side. turned her engine off and started her again.

and things were fine.

but as i mentioned it back at work

the boss reckoned it would be better just to take a look

and bring her into the garage.

so that meant leaving her behind

and getting a brand spanking new car for the night.

okay. just a rental. and a beamer to boot.

and although i can't really say it's one of those cars i'd pick myself

it's always definitely a nice car to drive.

and not necessarily good when yet another speeding ticket

is one of those things not allowed at the moment.

and andrea and i wanted to meet up for a coffee after work

so again, as usual, guess who was running late.

i'm absolutely lost driving in pforzheim.

and prolly the reason i can't leave without my gps.

of course, the car of the day was without a navigation.

so i thought it was rather sweet,

when the receptionist heard that i was asking for directions,

and offered to drive ahead of me to show me the way.

i was wearing one of my rings today

and she was all smitten about that when i first walked in the door,

so i think as a small thank you,

i'll give bring a ring for her tomorrow.

just as a little gift. and a little thank you.

for going out of her way.

and coffee and talks with andrea were wonderful.

it's almost as though our whole lives are running on a parallel.

and we both always have too much to say.

sometimes i think that it's like

we're both holding a mirror up to one another

and we see ourselves.

i've only just met her thru work,

and i select most of my collections for the catalogue from her company,

but from the first meeting on,

we knew we were meant to meet.

again, it's sweet how these things happen.

and i'll say it again and again and again.

but yes, all things happen for a reason.

each and every encounter. each and every path crossed.

it's all within reason.

so next week. it's coffee again.

so now i'm on my way off to bed.

just needed to sit down and write.

hold on to the past few days.

and yet, there's still that one story i need to share

and need to tell.

the paris stories... the lost and found.

and whatever story that story needs to hold within.

for me.

and tomorrow,

i'm back on an auction mission.

i've had it on my mind for much too long

that i want a deer and her antlers

on these walls.

maybe for some, a bit morbid in its way,

but for me its the symbolism

the reflection of something majestic, graceful

and full of pride.

strong, vulnerable, and maybe at times naive

but with all her dignity.

her feet were always firm on the ground,

but her head, still always held high.

and all of that is said with her crown

and even after she's gone. its still what's left.

simply saying she was there. and she was here.

and i've watched this auction. and i've watched that.

but tomorrow is the one i want.

because once again, there's this little voice saying...

this is the one. this is the one.

almost as though it's whispering.

and it's simply something you feel. simply something you know.

(just the same as with all those other little things in life...)

so this is me saying good night...

and just letting you know

there's a most beautiful moon out there tonight.


abundant and voluptious

in all her mysterious ways.

la lune. la lune...