Friday, November 07, 2008

if it was meant to be...

nina.
from a series simply called
the hotel room stories.

the girls just left
after a wonderful night of talks upon talks
and stories upon stories.
with laughs upon laughs.

and i'm just finishing off a last glass of wine
before i say good night myself.
because in just a few hours, it's time to start a new day again.
early. saturday. morning.

and today was another good day.
i managed to leave the office a bit early
only to get stuck in a bit of a traffic jam.
and instead of cursing or getting in a fret,
i simply put in a good cd and thought to myself
this is just the way it's meant to be...

i like those moments when you can turn the music up just a bit louder,
and sing just a bit out of key
and it doesn't even matter if the person stuck in the car beside you
has a quirky smile on their face
while prolly questioning your sanity at that given moment of time.
so i just smiled back, shrugged my shoulder and carried on
all the more out of key.
i was going to drive over to france to get what i needed for dinner
i like to do that every now and then.
but thanks to the slight interuption of stau on the autobahn,
i stuck to my side of the map instead
and picked up everything in the store across the street.

yes, i also stuck with the idea
of steamed artichokes and a vinagrette as the entrée
and then mussels. mussels. mussels. white wine mussels.

but the other sweet joy,
was coming home and seeing that i won my auction on ebay.
i placed my bid this morning as i left the house
just to be sure i didn't miss it again.

i've been trying for the past week
to get a lovely copy, an older edition book or script of tristan and isolde.
not just for myself
but as a gift for someone that's been such an inspiration to me.
a woman that i've so long looked up to and admired from a distance.
for her work. her creations. her visions. her success,
and i never dared to believe, our paths would cross as they have.
(another story i had wanted to share,
but again, to be saved for another day of one day).

and i didn't want it to be just any edition, or any old book,
rather one that i knew "this is the one.... this is just the right one."
yes. those moments when you simply know.

and tristan and isolde has always been a story
that captured me. fascinated me.
set me off to little dreams
of walks on maps of places i've been. and places i've longed to be.

and the other day, as i was leaving from a meeting with this woman,
working on a project with her,
i left with such a surge in me, and such an energy.
that i can't really explain.
but i felt she had just given me so much...
inspiration. and confirmation.
and yet there she was, telling me i had done the same.

her work and her collections are always based on stories.
they hold little tales. and symbolisms.
she manages to create what i sometimes wish
i could create and i could share.
and that's when i realised, maybe i can do it.
just in a different way.

and as i stepped out,
suddenly it was the story of tristan and isolde i saw before me again.
it was a vision, a geistesblitz and a trait d'esprit.
and it was just a thought that kind of held on to me.
and then i thought, if anyone could capture it,
create it in a new story, a beautiful story,
then franziska it could be.

and then i simply thought it's something i need to do silently,
share the inspiration silently.
and in between the lines.
by simply giving a gift.

and it was a very clear thought.
and something i knew i want to do
just as much as i need to do.

i missed out on the first auction of what i had found.
"this is the one... i know this is the one".
and for a moment, it left me a bit devasted.
i'll admit that in all true honesty.
but then i reminded myself,
if it was meant to be
it will be.

and i made a wish.
a wish that came from the deepest of the heart wish.
needless to say, the auction was placed again.
so i waited and marked today in my calender.
and although i usually don't place my bid or say my word
until the last moment appears,
this morning i left with the knowing and the belief,
and i said to myself again and again,
if it was meant to be
it will be.
.
and so it was.
you know, sometimes i truely believe...
that's all you have to do.
is simply that. simply to believe.

and now there's another book and edition i found.
i like to think that this one will be a gift to myself.
an edition of tristan and isolde in french.
a language i don't speak.
but a language i feel.
it's an edition with the most lovely illustrations.

and sometimes yes, i also think it's good to give a gift to self as well,
just as it is, to be a gift to the self.

because if it was meant to be
it will be....

3 comments:

susanna said...

Oh, Life is humming and skipping along quite nicely for you these days - well, aside from the traffic on the autobahn. But you had a night with good girlfriends and red wine (ohhh...red wine!) and good music and mussels (mmm...mussels!) and the luck of ebay on your side, and a mentor that you look up to and who admires you, too. Yes, Life is sweet. :)

susanna said...

PS: I DO want to hear about your new collection and I DO want to hear about your mentor. And I also want to know, are most of your favourite photographs (the ones you've taken yourself) on Type 55 film?

susan said...

sounds wonderful angie! i have the idea to get your photos out into the gallery again....out of the racks. so much beauty!
xoxoxox
susan