the apartment. these days

sunday morning roses. picked fresh.

glimpse of the dining room.

took the camera in the hand today.

inspired by tamara i suppose. and taking my own first photos

of my apartment. since moving in.

simply fragments. glimpses. fractions.

because that's how this home is evolving.

bit by bit.

a new start. a new chapter.

and those are the things i have yet to write about.

the original intentions of visiting here today.

but for now,

i'll simply share this. in fractions.

reflections. mirrored reflections.

in the dining room.

the bathroom.

of orchids. white towels. and mirrors.


some of my most favourite things.

a coffee bowl turned vase for summer flowers.

porcellan from angela johe and margitta hildebrand


a glimpse of the living room.

the tiled oven and fireplace.

more living room glimpses.

my baroque mirrors. my cherub candleholder.

a treasure brought back from amsterdam. in march.

the balcony.

and my first clematis that i planted. and it grew.

it's almost symbolic for me in a way.

an old birdcage, found at a flea market

and below a garden of green. lush summer green.

up the stairs and enter the bedroom.

there's a precious sensation

each and everytime i walk these stairs.

it's of space. of light. of intimacy.

and at night, lying in bed, gazing out the window beside the bed

let's me wish upon the stars and sleeping satellites...

yes, that little pink bird on the nighttable

keeps her watchful eye on me.

made by the one and only and ever so lovely alicia paulson

from posie - rosy little things.

fresh roses picked on a sunday morning

little tealights that flicker each night.

my bed is something special to me.

for stories told. maybe even stories to be told.

[said with a wink of the eye. and a smile on the face.]

i first spoke of her here

and then again here.

and to this day, i think she's become my centerpiece.

in a personal way.

a symbolic way.

and just a few of the books

that are being read. in fragments and fractions as well.

inspirations. stories. memories. hopes. dreams.

writing. reading. absorbing.

we all have something to say.

tamara and me...

i came here tonight to write. to catch up. to say hello.

and i don't know, but i just wasn't finding the words.

and then i started to read the words. tamara's words.

went by to visit the girl. was missing her

and thinking that it was just a week ago

that her and konrad were here.

the first time that we'd actually met,

but without really knowing how to say it,

the most familiar face and friend.

it's as though tamara has always been

right here along side me. a part of me.

a companion thru the heart of it all.


she was already at my place when i got home from work

and walking thru my own doors

right up to her to hug and say hello

was as though that moment had been a thousand times

and never ever before.

but reading her blog and words tonight,

it all just came back. as though it were here. now.

and there was a smile on the face,

as there was a tear in the eye.

okay tam, still can't get over all the apartment piccies.

my god, the place is honestly still empty!

in a literal sense.

and that's not about not being content

but literally (time for justification)

of starting all over again. with the bits. the pieces.

boxes are still spilled all over the place

waiting to find a place to crawl themselves into. under.

no lamps hanging from the ceiling yet. nor pictures on the wall.

but they'll come. with time.

and i think the most important thing that fills a home

are the memories. like those that we created. together.

it's the friends (and the lovers) that share the walls

fill the space and breath the air.

and having you here. the both of you.

it inspired. and it changed things.

and brought so much back to life for me again.

so much that had frozen itself over the past months.

and i can't thank you enough for that sweetie.

i honestly can't.

so maybe the only real words i'm able to find tonight

are those saying to you

how special and wonderful you are.

how much i adore you

and how grateful that i am,

that there's you in my life.

heart. soul. friend.

i love you tam. and i thank you!

tamara, isabelle and me...

and photos by the one, the only...

konrad!

hello. again.

i'll be back soon. i promise.

there is much to share. much to say.

much to open up. spill out.

about the past months.

the change. transition.

about loss. about falling down.

and about standing back up again.


i wanted to write a long letter tonight.

but at the moment,

just saying hello feels about right.



hello.