Tuesday, August 29, 2006
where to begin.
i feel like there is so much that I want to say.
from the past weeks. even just the past week.
last week. this time. and i was having a most lovely evening.
other than a smile on my face,
there’s not much more that i’ll say.
and yes, a few of you dear ones know what i mean.
the rest of the work was a bit of a blur.
simply enjoying the last days before the new job starts.
i can’t believe that it’s this friday already.
welcome a new chapter and all it has in store for me.
but in all honesty, each and every day almost feels
like a new story is in the beginning.
and i’m embracing the change,
and embracing it with curiosity.
as though i simply want to step towards it.
and patience isn’t always my best virtue.
other things that have made me smile this past week?
silent conversations and written words.
buying a lovely sweet antique teapot, knowing she’ll be a vase
one day soon in my new kitchen. maybe on a window sill.
strange that i see my new place already,
and yet, there are still a few months of patiently waiting
until I can take the step out the one door,
and into the next.
a friday afternoon spent with alex,
meeting with petra, and us three girls going shopping.
two new dresses, a skirt, a pair of pants, a belt, a shirt later.
the photo session with patti on saturday
then honestly just needing to head out and get groceries,
ended up with more shopping.
a pair of shoes, a pair of pants, a purse, earrings, a blouse later.
sunday morning with pancakes and blueberry syrup.
and trust me when i say,
blueberry syrup is something simply not had here in germany.
elisabeth coming by for coffee and that lead to dinner
and endless conversations, trying to solve
or simply understand
one of the greatest mysteries of the world.
and sunday was also about writing long letters.
yesterday was about fleurs and getting them off to freiburg.
which didn’t happen until later in the evening.
and it was about more silent conversations.
words and thoughts simply shared
like striking the midnight hour.
today also brought all the more reasons to smile.
and again, it’s all the little things.
like finally saying yes to a necklace i’ve long coveted.
something simple. something sweet. a bird in flight.
and this necklace has long been on the mind.
amy has one of the sweetest shops called day-lab
i’ve known amy for a good few years now.
and to see what she’s done in the shortest while with her business,
i graciously bow down and courtesy to her.
i first met amy thru photography.
and to this day,
she also remains one of my favourite photographers.
in a world of loretta lux, joyce tenneson and robert doisneau
to name a few of many.
and today, i simply had to say yes. maybe like a celebration
simply of the self. and of good things.
happening. changing. becoming.
and an email from undine as well,
almost leaving me with a guilty conscience
that i haven’t really been around, written or called.
she’s been yet another pillar of support
and we have ideas that we share,
ideas we want to set into motion.
but it was sweet to find her email
and also her letting me know that miriam pielhau
was wearing one of my rings on tele again,
sunday night on one of her new shows.
reminding myself that I should to write her too,
and simply say thank you. for the support she gives.
because although i don’t watch much tele myself,
i hear again and again, that miriam is wearing the fleurs,
flaunting and flirting them as i like to say,
in whichever way she can.
and that means the world. it really means much.
i also bought myself a bed today. on ebay.
and please don’t ask me where this idea suddenly appeared.
it’s old. and antique. as in 1910 old and antique.
oak wood and absolutely lovely. in a kitschy lovely way.
but the bestest part of it all,
was buying this bed for a whole of ten euro.
i suddenly decided the new place
was going to have a white bed.
[which means, i’ll still have to paint the bed white too]
and i don’t even have my new place yet,
nor do I know where I’m going to put this bed until I do have it.
and maybe it’ll be my bed. maybe the guestroom bed.
but yes, I bought a bed.
and then it was other little things,
like the one lovely order from the website.
and today was a good day of orders coming in.
maybe i can’t help myself and yes,
it’s just the day to day of running a business,
but whenever i know that a package is on it’s way to new york,
it’s just puts a different kind of smile on my face.
maybe because for whatever love and fascination
or all the dreams I have,
it just feels like a little piece of me is finding its way there too.
silly yes. i know. but that’s simply me.
and in the intervals of writing this, mulling thoughts
and randomly remembering fractions of a week,
or of a day,
i found myself smiling once again.
and simply saying thank you.
for silent conversations.
[photograph - taken on the saturday sessions]