Friday, August 18, 2006

dancing into flea markets

my friends know me

and they know me well enough to know,

that i can't say "no".

so with me procrastinating for the past hour,

trying to get myself into the basement,

sieve thru the junk in the garage that has

all been set aside for flea markets.

accumulations of the purgings that have taken place,

over the past year, the past months

unfortunately however, not the past weeks.

i only managed to do one flea market so far this year,

and considering i had vowed to have all of this junk

berid of my the end of summer,

i guess that means i'm not doing too well with my efforts?

the last flea market was end of july

and i actually wanted to blog about it.

make a silly list of all the little odds and ends

sold. and peacefully departed.

you know, it actually surprises me,

that these "accumulations" can really be anyone else's treasure.

they certainly aren't the treasures i go looking for

when visiting flea markets.

but it never ceases to surprise me.

and the last market,

left the load quite a bit lighter,

and then considering,

i definitely sell things much too cheap.

one euro here, and one euro there,

and fifty cents for that please.

but as i said,

i was procrastinating earlier on.

wanting to organise what i'll load into the car tomorrow,

or making the effort to find more pieces of junk

and give me the sensation of having done

even just a little more purging today.

and then along came patti.

standing outside, calling my name thru the window,

asking if i'll go out dancing with her tonight.

some club in freiburg that i've never been.

and then her claim that it's our generation of age.

gave her the cheekiest smile i had

reminding her of the last time she took us to a new club,

quoting the same assumption.

after that evening,

i also vowed i'd remain single for the rest of my life,

if that was really all that was out there.

frightening and haunting and chilling

but good for a laugh it was.

díd i already say

my friends know me

and they know me well enough to know,

that i can't say "no".

i can smile at that however as well,

because it's also something they'll never take forgranted.

at least not the true friends, the real friends.

and yes, we're working on learning to say that little word

at appropriate moments.

and looking at patti and hearing her say,

"but i need you. you can't make me go with bianca on my own"

there was no way i could say no to her not being able to say no.

vicious circles we live in these days.

timmy left earlier for his dad's for the next week.

and i just came back to meissenheim to prepare for the fleamarket.

and now that mission is accomplished too.

in record time.

downstairs is a pile that simply needs

to be arranged into the car in the morning,

in orderly chaos.

and i even found a few other odds and ends

to add to those piles.

nothing that makes a difference

and yet it does. somehow.

does that make any sense?

and i'm making yet another vow here,

that no matter how late tonight might be,

i will be at that flea market tomorrow.

even if i have to pull an all nighter.

mark my words.

and i'll make myself a list again tomorrow,

of all the things.

sold. and peacefully departed.

and i'll take pen and paper

to write other lists

because these days,

there are so many thoughts,

so many ideas

that lure their way thru the mind.

photos that i want and need to take this week,

the canvas that i need to paint.

the lamp that i almost placed in the pile this evening,

and suddenly envisioned a new life for her.

a life of boas. and feathers. and yes. light.

i'll take a pile of magazines with me

that need to be read and pages torn out,

of inspiration found.

i guess that counts as purging too?

so yes, in a sense, feng shui of the soul.

letting go to invite the new.

the money from tomorrow's flea market?

maybe we'll put it to the trip to paris

as i want to be back there again.

maybe september? maybe october?

or maybe for the trip to new york?

or simply for the new apartment?

we shall see.

but patti just honked the horn outside.

and it's time...

to put on those dancing shoes.


susan said...

splendid! ooh the floh markt. too fun and good for the soul. looks like tam is having one too - purging is good. i will miss you this week angie! enjoy the time, and write it all down girl..
hugs and best wishes for you and your sore dancin feet!

susanna said...

La vie en rose! Visiting flea Markets, dancing with friends, making lists of things to do and to create...a possible trip to really do know how to LIVE, Angela!
PS - I tear out photos from magazines, too, and keep them in sketchbooks and boxes.