Sunday, August 19, 2007

eclipse. reclipse.

reflecting of saturday. on sunday.

yesterday was spent with patti.

we weren't really sure what we were going to do with our day.

we contemplated freiburg.

or maybe going walking - thru hills and valleys.

or maybe simply going to strasbourg

or why did paris have to feel so far away for a saturday afternoon?

so instead, we just decided to go into lahr,

and then see where and how the day carries us.

as we were driving in,

i made a wish to her, saying i would want a flea market to be

a part of the day.

i need more old postcards. and old photos.

like secrets told from a stranger's past.

and you can close your eyes, and almost hear them

as whispers.

or sometimes, i almost see it as a promise,

to keep those secrets alive,

and never let their moments be forgotten.

we stopped off at isabelle's first

just to say hello.

and then the wish was granted

flea market. right there. before us.

i didn't find my old postcards nor my old photos

but instead, other treasures were found.

and it's those little things, the unexpected things,

that put the biggest smile on the face.

flowers from the market.

an old pillow, embroidered by hand.

i so had to laugh when i read the words stitched,

and it was love at first sight.

yes, those things happen with me. with the strangest of things.

like pillows. tea cups. and tea pots. candlesticks.

and i think the most precious things i have

are like these little treasures found.

for a penny non the less. figuratively speaking.

we wandered around a bit more.

the next little gem being a necklace.

champagne coloured pearls, old and paint chapped.

i reckon it's maybe from the sixties.

put an image in my mind of a lady that might have worn it.

she had brown hair, audrey hepburn style hair.

wearing a black dress. prim. proper.

feminine. and with her pearls.

and i think she looked like my mother.

i held it in my hand, then wrapped it around my neck.

one euro. how could i say no.

the other thing that i was looking for,

and patti knew as well,

is an old rosary. to drape around the corner of my bed.

i'm not catholic. i rarely go to church.

but belief, faith, spirit, hope, prayer

are important and intimate things to me.

patti had already wandered a bit further,

and found the one or other rosary.

she showed them to me, but they just weren't right.

i know what it's too look like. because i've already seen it in my mind.

and i know i'll find it. or it'll find me.

i truely believe, these things seek you. find you.

and sometimes, maybe, even speak to you.

but then i found her. the cameo.

she was small. fragile. almost hidden.

but again, she was familiar. as though i had met her before.

and did i fall in love again?


it's hard to say how old she is. and i do wonder about her stories.

but strangely, as i found her, or as i wear her and touch her,

it's mom that comes to mind.

[by the way. happy happy birthday my lovely one!]

after that, we decided to go to offenburg.

quickly walked thru the farmer's market

and although i had already bought my roses for the week,

found the most beautiful dahlias i think i've ever seen.

a bouquet for patti. a bouquet for me.

that's the way it was meant to be.


just wandered the streets.

shopping is definitely something that should be forbidden at the moment,

but as we were heading off to get a coffee at

[not really my favourite place, but it has the most beautiful view of the rhein valley,

of the wineyards and hills and rooftops]

we stopped at h&m to take a peek.

the result?

a black trench coat because we're in the midst of august

and i really really need one.

can we tell i'm trying to convince myself?

seriously, it's exactly what i had hoped for. and wanted.

and with my beret that i brought back from dublin

it's absolutely perfect.

then a black turtleneck because i can never ever have enough.

i had hoped to find a pair of marlene dietrich styled pants.

and of course, in black.

as isabelle and patti know, that's been my mission for weeks upon weeks.

i'm usually found wearing dresses - winter, spring, summer or fall

but the right pair of pants, a turtleneck or a fitted blouse.

and of course a trench coat...


but it wasn't to be had at h&m.

so we did finally grab coffee. enjoyed a bite to eat.

i just kept looking to the wineyards and hills and dreamt a little dream

and couldn't help but just think of how perfect and how simple

that very moment could be.

but that's always the way it is. the simple things. the little things.

and i kept touching my cameo. and smile.

we decided to wander thru a few more stores and then

slowly find our way home.

and just as things might have it. in the last store,

and the most unexpected store,

there were my marlene dietrich pants. in black.

now this might sound like - as they say in german - a real tussie.

but i'm not. honest. truely. smiles and grins at herself.

i like the unusual. elegant. at times eccentric.

i like playful. i like classical.

i prefer the black and white.

vintage. modern. and blended together.

what my style statement might be, i can't really say.

tamara could probably say it, call it best.

but when i say, that there's rarely a piece in my wardrobe

that costs more than twenty euro

no one ever believes me.

that too, are things that make me smile.

[inherited from my mommy dear]

i find these deals and steals. or they find me.

but it's like the beret for an euro.

or a hundred year old bed for ten euro

and in the same breath

and without the wink of an eye,

i'll buy a coffee cup, handmade and of porcellaine,

for more than a dress has ever cost.

that's just me. of all the contradictions and all.

we did finally find our way home.

another cup of coffee at patti's. and then the angel she herself is,

a facial as well.

i adore you for that my dear.

but it's all the other little things i adore you for.

mostly just for being you.

left patti's and met with isabelle at the arena.

just a quick coffee. a quick talk. just finding a bit of time together.

and then i found myself coming home.

at first i thought i was still going to make it back out to freiburg

and to see elisabeth.

but the day left me tired.

it was the winding down after weeks of good,

however, long days and long nights at work.

it was taking time for the self again.

and for the first time in a long time,

it felt good to be alone.

just to reflect. just to think. just to take a deep deep breathe.
a glass of wine. the couch.
paper and pen in hand
and writing down wishes, goals, destinations.
maybe like drawing a map. yes. to a treasure chest.
sometimes i think that itself is the secret.
the beautiful secret. of life.
that was saturday.
and now sunday is about to bid itself farewell.
do i write about that now too?

1 comment:

susanna said...

A day spent wandering with a girlfriend, good conversations over coffee, a fleamarket adventure and then a quiet night alone with a glass of red wine and a pen - sounds absolutely perfect. :)